Lake Bonny Trip

I went to Lake Bonny Park for this assignment, and I stayed there for at least 50 minutes.

The trip was interesting in itself. I had some crazy self-realizations while standing next to nature. I basked in the silence and just sat there with God. After the crazy hectic life I've been leading for the past couple of months, it felt amazing to just leave school/friends behind and just go away for awhile. I walked around for a bit alone and felt something near me the whole time. I kept walking and I couldn't shake this feeling that I wanted to be alone, but something was by my side (spiritually) and wouldn't leave me be. As I write this right now, I still have no idea what it was. I found that reading the State of the Planet by Robert Haas helped throw me right into the emotions that I needed for this assignment. I felt angry, sad, alone, depressed, and oddly happy. My anger stems from the fact that I'm not perfect. I want to be perfect in all that I do and then I just falter. I took a look at all the nature around me and it wasn't fair! I saw the perfection in all of God's creation, but I was not perfect...how does that happen? But then I took solace in the fact that God loved me just as I was in that moment. No more, no less. My sadness goes hand in hand with my loneliness. I become sad because I fear that I will never get better in what I am doing in life. Then I took another look around me and realized, if God could make a tiny flower grow from such a tiny seed, if I allow Him--He will help me grow as well. My happiness came from realizing how all of these things come together. My poem underneath explains how I felt in the moment and the ending is left to interpretation.

Calm and peacefulness surrounds me,
Yet, I'm reckless.
I enter into a world I take for granted,
Spiritual eyes open, I’m enchanted.
Steps of trepidation lead me into vegetation,
To memorize, I take pictures with my mind.
Holding the leaf in my hand, oh chlorophyll!
The wind in my hair has no comparison to the fear I feel.
It's tragic how the world has so many borders,
Yet the colors in the flowers seem to spill over into my imagination.
I wish I could break free and be wild like the flowers of God's creation.
The wind provokes my hair to dance, I hesitate.
The stick snaps beneath my foot.
I pick it up and look at its texture,
And realize that it is unique, yes a stick unique.
A small girl walks to me, she pulls on my shirt,
Not a word is spoken between us.
She leads me to the dock where it stretches out past the lake's border,
It was our Neverland.
She, my mirror, stood next to me,
She looked up at me and pointed outward.
“Just look,” she spoke.
I saw the beauty that had been robbed from me,
Oh! How the drones of everyday life deprive us of God’s love!
I look down only to see her gone, never to be there,
My imagination ran with me.
I look up again and God’s canvas is before me,
Wish I could recklessly love.

Lake Bonny Trip by Brittney TM Perez is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License